© Gabriella Alziari
To all my readers,
Thank you for joining me as I share my words with you. I’m excited to share that I have moved over to a new and improved website. You can follow my poems and photography, and join the mailing list (bottom right of every page). Take some time to check out my FAQ, Instagram account, follow my Facebook page, and more. As always, feel free to reach out at any time! I am constantly inspired by you and love getting in touch.
Can’t wait to see you there!
With love,
Gabby
I step into the shadows of the truth,
back to my memories.
There are crows at every corner,
their wings glisten in the darkness.
I remember spotting you
across the wooden hallways.
Your face somber
as a soldier
after the breaking.
We split like icebergs
in a charcoal sea,
never to meet again.
Tears streamed down my face.
Our galaxy of stars
faded there, forever.
You were my dark psychology.
The sharpness of your love,
its rusty taste of shrapnel.
The danger of our passion,
it was the sweetest war.
It was long ago.
But I cannot forget the pain
I poured my heart into.
I cannot sit here, and pretend
that my soul is fully cleansed.
Even years after the breaking,
I am not as whole as I was
before you.
Facing the facts
is a constant source
of suffering.
I realize that now, as I see
a shadow
of my former self.
I realize that now, as I cleanse
my current one.
Sometimes, I lose myself.
I forget my history.
But I am back
when I write poetry.
That forgotten piece of me
is wiped of dust and found again,
storing precious memories.
Like an old chest in the attic,
I ease my rusted hinges.
Stories live inside
the corners of my mind,
flying free like butterflies.
Now
I confront myself.
Share it all,
my spirit tells me.
I relive old memories.
The burdens become
victories.
I promise to myself
to brave the winding path
before me.
I cherish every breath,
and ground myself in strength.
My past
is now my power.
That hidden part of me
I treasure like a pearl,
my precious history.
It will come to me.
Like blades of grass flowing through a distant breeze,
I taste the cherry summer,
moisten my chapped lips.
I am a tribal chief pounding on a drum.
I burst alive in song,
my body full of nature.
The spirit of the egret
rests inside my soul,
its wispy, gentle wings
enable me to soar.
I am steadfast
to my core.
I step into the paw prints
of those who walked before me.
The leaves rain down upon me.
This earth,
it swallows me.
I hear the distant voices of the gods.
They breathe in my reality.
I pound together stones.
And in the darkened night,
after thirty tries,
I create sparks of light.
In the gentle dusk,
I hear those tender words.
I trust within my soul.
I am united to my core.
It will come to me,
It will come to me,
It will come to me.
Hello night,
I discover you in my soul.
My body aches with tenderness,
your sleepy dreams
filling my eyes.
I am closing the curtains to daytime,
warming to your embrace.
Sweet night,
you are dancing with my memories,
casting colors in my mind.
I am dreaming rainbow dreams,
they are dripping with your heartbeat.
Hello night,
your seduction pulls me in.
I grow drunk on midnight poetry.
I betray all order.
Sweet night,
I am wrapped around your finger.
These mysterious temptations
drift into me like feathers.
Hello night,
I will never be the same.
Now I know your stardust,
there is no moving on
I felt your quiet lips like a million raindrops
softening the blow,
Making the space between us blend into lighting,
a peaceful energy, my quiet home.
I cut out your figure like a paper doll.
The weakened organs collapse,
crumpling against me, like candy wrappers.
This silhouette is a pretend you,
it rests beside me like water.
The two of us have been at war
against an unknown enemy.
At once, there is urgency
to expel this illness, an unwanted baby.
I hold your paper body in my palms.
I am bearing the weight of your presence,
spreading my wings in your essence,
your voice ringing strong in my head.
There is power in this love,
in this touch,
this determination.
I am ablaze like a fire.
I am a sparkler,
coming to life.
There is a little piece of heaven
Deep within my core,
Ticking like a time bomb,
A firework set free.
I find layers of myself here,
Tender, marbled flesh born from glittering miracles,
Like glowing ink skies illuminated by lightning,
Coaxing me to bravery.
My mind has been buried in haze.
In my little room, I ruminate
Over this solitude, this kindling that ruptures like a fire.
In my fragile home, I come awake to my purpose.
I was born to lead.
It rings like a million bells shaking me from sleep.
I feel my calling like a pounding drum,
A hummingbird in song,
My melody oscillating to the beat of the universe.
There are numerous paths before me.
I am sifting through them, knee-deep,
Wading through my challenges, mapping vibrant constellations,
Seizing my own greatness.
I want to put more energy into writing,
into this piece of me that feels so important,
the part that fills my lungs with air and makes my feet spring alive with happiness.
At times, I wonder where these words come from.
They come so quickly that I cannot think them,
They charge at me with a sweeping rush,
like ocean waves on a midnight beach.
These divine thoughts cannot be from me.
They are flecks of gold washed up on the shore,
They are fragments of dust from a shooting star,
They are sprinkled across papers and journals,
so I cannot own them.
I have streams of consciousness
like brine flowing into a churning sea.
These words become mine so easily.
I never thought about being close to God.
I thought God was too far away to hold.
I thought it impossible to embrace his full aura,
But his spirit drums within me
with urgent repetition.
At first, this closeness shocks me.
I am un-taming myself for the divine.
I am glowing like a firefly in the summertime,
I am unwinding in this security,
reconstructing in this twilight.
Confusion
seeping into the corners of my mind,
causing blindness.
I’ve never known such a sorry state as this,
where my identity is stripped like my own skin.
But then you never knew this part of me,
my secret heart, my provocative writing.
I fold slowly back into myself,
a softened balloon,
unused and unblooming.
I drag my limbs,
a wounded animal retreating into my cave,
leaving dirt paths behind me.
You shed the embryo of us
like a shadow.
It fell away immediately.
Crouched on the floor, holding the remnants,
I embrace you with a vengeance, for love is like cradling an enemy,
someone other than yourself.
Now there is confusion.
Chaos, like when salt meets pepper.
I am sifting through the grains, but not finding a clear path.
I am grabbing fistfuls, but coming up
empty-handed.
Rawness:
When the frail heart submits itself like a bloody flag,
Throwing up its white wings of peace,
of surrender.
I wouldn’t wish for that kind of sadness,
But there is stoicism in rawness,
In not pretending to be brave.
There is courage in feeling shards of pain like bullets
Ripping through a silken heart
As they find their meaty crevice.
Rawness is a special kind of intoxication.
Like cracking open a wounded egg to expose its hidden yolk,
Wearing one’s sadness like a badge evokes
A certain type of poisoning.
Rawness calls for victory.
It hangs like a shadow sewn onto one’s clothes.
Heavy as a stone, slipping into water,
At once electrified and homely,
A familiar drowning.
I am sorry that I didn’t see your rawness
Until it was too late.
For all you have suffered, I now carry a piece of it with me.
You are a part of my rawness, and so
You are a part of my victory.
For the Love of Imagination 